Columbia 300 Blog

Thanksgiving Confessions

Columbia 300 Team | 11/26/13 | Bowler's Confessions

Last week, we took to Facebook to gather some confessions from bowlers (anonymously of course)! 

Here is our favorite and the winner!

 -         "My deep dark secret isn't really a bad thing. But on certain league nights when nobody is looking, I will pay the envelope for someone or everyone on my lane or another lane. Times are hard economically in my town, and every little bit helps some people. I've been fortunate enough to have plenty in my life, and there will never be a price tag on making life easier for someone else. I guess it's my way of paying it forward."

-          "I hate the Brunswick staff league bowler who averages 170 and proclaims he's great and the equipment is top notch." 

-          "I bowl on a couple’s mixed doubles team on Thursday nights. What my league doesn’t know is that I told all of them that I am not that great so our team could get handicap to win some games but in all reality I am now averaging 198 on Thursdays and 197 on Tuesdays."

-          "My secret is that I'm seeing one of the guys wife for the past three years. The hard part is that we talk at bowling each week and outside the alley also and he has no clue. Sorry."

-          "I was one of the people who took the blow-up gorilla off of a car dealership and put it on top of my high school as a senior prank."

-          "I really can't stand my league and teammates, but it's the closest thing to college bowling I have left."

-          "I’m actually using an illegal ball for league and no one has realized it yet - LOL. I have to drill a really small weight hole but I never remember and it rolls so great that I don’t want to change anything about the ball!"

-          "Every time someone brags about a high score/high average they shot in any league they bowl in, as they are talking, I always envision their teeth as bowling pins and a ball rolling right into their mouth shutting them up and knocking out all of their teeth.  After they are done bragging I tell them good job and walk away with a smile on my face."

-          "I am a member of the Mile-High Club and no one on my league would ever believe I would/could do such a thing, lol! ;-) "

-          "Every time somebody slaps my hand at league or a tournament I want to run and use hand sanitizer! Who knows where those hands have been. Nobody knows I'm that much of a germaphobe!"

-          "I am TERRIFIED of spiders...even the tiniest of ones. That is the one thing that can make this grown man squeal."

-          "I think about rolling a 900 series and how it would feel and how I would react, what I would say and/or do! If you don't think about it, you can't do it!"

-          "When I was little I used to wipe poop and buggers everywhere, including on other peoples bowling towels...."

-          "Ok 6 years ago new job me and my lead engineer are working thanksgiving day running our boiler for our office building. Well I have IBS my gut bubbled up in front of everyone at lunch I get up running down the hall way radio, keys everything hitting the floor as I waddle/run trying to stay tight "by the way this is impossible"  I end up messing my underpants just as I hit the rest room. I had to put my underpants in a trash bag and hid them till after work. Going commando in ruff dicky type work pants sucksssss. Anyways I told the group when I got back to the lunch table that I had a phone call from my wife and thought it was an emergence. I have not even told my wife this story. But I bet this is not the only poop your pants story you get cuz let's fave it as guys it's happend at least once in your life. Hey wait how can this be 100% anonymous if there is a winner if I win won't you know I pooped myself at work? :/ "

-          "I once hit reset on a guy throwing a 300 to try and break his focus. It worked..."

-          "I used to be one of the top female youth bowlers in the state of Montana.  After joining the United States Navy I found it very difficult to bowl due to training, deployments, lack of transportation, or no one to watch my daughters so I ended up not bowling for 16 years except for the random bowling for fun which I could count with one hand.  This past summer I finally joined a league, pulled my old bowling balls and shoes out only to find my shoes were 3 times too small and both my bowling balls were cracked -one spiraled around the whole ball while the other was just in between the finger tips and of course the finger span was too small for how many years had passed.  I bought a new ball and new shoes and haven't looked back since.  All my team mates know i haven't bowled in so many years but they don't know how good of a bowler I was.  I just got a call from our league secretary inquiring about my bowling because it is hard for him to understand that there is no record of my bowling in recent years and how great of a bowler i am for being a female since I'm putting most of the guys in my league to shame.  I am proud of my success in bowling, it is something that you never forget.  Might be a little rusty but it comes back in time." 

-          "I was once arrested after finishing a Bowling tournament and qualifying for the travel squad to go to a national tournament. Being in a unfamiliar city, did not know it was illegal to drink in a public park, myself and two others" top three qualifiers for the team had to be bailed out of jail by our head coach, to travel to our tournament!"

-          "I secretly don’t like bowling with one of the guys on my team. He is always getting in a terrible mood over his bowling and blaming the lanes and the bowling alley instead of working on his game itself. If it stays bad I don’t think we will bowl together next year."

-          "I am in love with a woman who I just met, she's my best friend and she has a boyfriend. But we act as a couple."

-          "I like to make my own rosin bags. Everyone loves to use them, I never tell them what I have in it people love the aromma. They are wax or small ceramic balls for the feel, and Gold Bond body powder. Yea it helps dry your hands and well...ball too."

-          "I absolutely hate my teammates. I think they are all a bunch of retarded old men."

-          "I have bowled in the same league with the same team for 20 years and have come to hate it. I wanna quit but can't walk out on family. Hopefully they call it quits real soon....."

-          "I am ambidextrous and can bowl with both hands not the 2 hand type you see now days. I Injured my right shoulder many years ago and was not going to be held back due to not being able to bowl.So I learned to Bowl left handed as well I will say this all the talk you hear about lefties having an advantage well its kinda true to a point. If your the only leftie you are going to have the oil all to yourself until the right side dries up and people start playing a swing shot. After that it's pretty much even."  

-          "I bowl in mostly men's leagues and sometimes to distract other teams I will wear a lower cut shirt. I definitely use my chest to my advantage. How is that for getting something off my chest!"



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Columbia 300 Team

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